I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't turn off my feet"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
