Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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