Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She bit a glass in half.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
True strength comes from lack of pants
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
