Buhtt sex?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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