you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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