Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
