my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
