I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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