I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize