I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
