got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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