he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
