If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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