yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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