I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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