Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
