im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
