He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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