I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am available for nakedness
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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