I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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