just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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