So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize