her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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