Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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