there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
