she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
