Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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