Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
