We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
