after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
