We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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