its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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