nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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