About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
