what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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