I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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