You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
