Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize