Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
