i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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