Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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