Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
