Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
