Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
