First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
smell my finger.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
