There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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