dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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