another moral hangover. fuck.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
