It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
