New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize