apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
