Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
