i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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