I'm gonna have a badass scar
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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