i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
