I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
It's just like the Real World with babies
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The uberlube is also flammable
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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