I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
