When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
