Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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